I do these things, so you don't have to.
My mom decided to come over on a surprise visit for Easter. She doesn't speak any Japanese, in fact, she barely speaks any English. She brought along a friend to help her navigate, his English isn't really any better, but at least they're in it together?
Anyway, my mom really wanted to go to Disneyland with me! How sweet! Apparently her friend had visited the parks in the US, and wanted to join us to compare the parks! He talked them into buying two-day passports! On their day of arrival! For the two next days! That's hardcore level park hopping. A Disney fan? I never coined him as such. I was excited.
And was soon let down. It turns out his idea of visiting a place is to go see it, take a picture, and then leave. Had it been up to him, he would have been back out the gates after maybe an hour. He also continued to make fun of decorations, characters, and merchandise! I was determined to soldier on through it and make sure me and my mom still had a good day at the park.
CUE, TOFU'S SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR SURVIVING A DAY AT THE PARK WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET IT!
- You'll feel frustrated. Often. A lot. Most of the time. Almost all through the day. This is normal. Breathe. In. Out. You'll get through it. Grab your favourite snack. Make your guests pay for it.
- You won't get to camp out for your favourite show or parade. Make sure you go on a weekday (or other slow day). Choose front row standing instead of front row seating. You can get away with showing up 30-20 minutes before parade begins. Make up for your guests' uninterestedness by being over the top enthusiastic during pre-show and during the actual show. Dance a lot. Jump. Sing. Scream. This will perplex them, and it'll keep them quiet. It'll also release all that tension you've been walking around with.
- You may not get to go on all the attractions you'd normally ride, but make sure you ride your favourite attraction. Make your guests sit together so you can have the ride time to yourself. Take a nap if needed.
- Book a table at a restaurant in advance. This will spare you the headache and heartache of deciding on a dinner option while at the park. With a person who doesn't care. And most likely will criticise even the fine dining places, but at least the criticism will be less severe than say if you end up at Plazma Ray's ("THE FOOD COMES IN CARDBOARD BOXES??? THE DESSERT IS BLUE????? IT SURE IS CROWDED IN HERE!!!!"). You went through the trouble of booking the restaurant, so it's only natural that the guests pay for your dessert.
- Challenge them. Have them play Westernland Shootin' Gallery or Jungle Carnival games. Point out that the plush probably won't fit in their luggage for their return trip. After the fact. Of course.
- If all else fails, offer to make errands. Run off to get your guests surprise snacks or even FastPasses! You get some time to yourself, guests can explore and be rude on their own time.
- Smile. Even when it doesn't make sense. Just smile through the pain. You're at Disneyland, after all.
I truly saw this as a test of my park skills and know-how. This was my mom's third visit, so I tried to let her guide us to the places she was interested in. But I took over at times to make sure we caught parades and attractions I thought we (well, at least me and my mom) would all enjoy. In the end, it was a fairly successful day. Unfortunately, it started raining a little in the evening, so Electrical Parade got cancelled (it was the one thing my mom was super hyped to see, so of course it got cancelled). We watched the rainy day greeting and called it a day.
They're going to be on their own at Tokyo DisneySea tomorrow. I'm curious to hear how they did!